Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize