Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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