just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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