so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
