TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
