Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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