Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
