mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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