Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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