I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
