You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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