I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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