you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
