i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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