What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
