Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
