look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
