Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
