Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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