p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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