I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
