plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
