Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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