Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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