I just made out with a guy for $7.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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