please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
