I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
