my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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