So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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