Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
