yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
