i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
