what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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