is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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