2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
