i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
