he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
