Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
