his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize