Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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