he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
