I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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