It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
