Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
