So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
