he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
