i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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