I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
