im about as happy as oj after his trial
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize