He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
