If that was your dad, he is hot
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
