is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he thought i was a dude.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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