She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
