4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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