You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize