is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize